Vegan Pick Up Lines

Are you a fresh organic apple? Because I just picked you...

Baby, you marinate my tempeh.

Boy if you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.

Could you help me out? I'm trying to decide if I want to keep these new hemp sheets, but I need a second opinion.

Do you like my new skirt? I love pleather but it makes me all hot and sweaty.

Forget the vegan jerky; I'll do some primal stripping for you any day.

Hey baby, can I milk your soybeans?

Hey baby, wanna come over and scramble my tofu?

Hey there, I bought you some fair trade, organic, vegan chocolate.

Hey, babe, how about some of this late summer veggie gazpacho?

How do you get your protein?

How do you like your eggs, substituted or fertilized?

How vegan are you again? oh I can be advised about nutrition for hours.

I have veganaise in the fridge at my place.

I may not eat animal products, but that doesn't mean I can't swallow.

I would like to give a kiss tofu.

I'll eat Hip Whip on anything.

I'll give you a reason to try milk again.

I've been looking for a seitan worshipper like you my whole life.

I've heard that I taste like nooch--wanna confirm?

If I give you my number will you promise to kale me?

If u were a vegetable you'd be a cutecumber.

Is that a carrot in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Is that Tofurky Jerky in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I’d be willing to give up meat — but I’d never give up you.

May I take your picture? It's for the World's Sexiest Vegetarian competition.

Meat is murder, but meat's gonna make you scream.

Mmmmm. I could really go for a hot veggie dog right about now.

My heart is certified cage-free, so my love can roam to you.

Vegans really do taste better. And by vegans, I mean my vagina.

Wanna come up and see my Vitamix?

Wanna press my tofu?

Want to come back to my place & listen to The Smiths?

What's your favorite thing to do with agave nectar?

Would you like some organic roasted root vegetables to go with that non-dairy fair trade shake?

You can swallow. It's organic cause I'm a vegan.

You're one hot tomato... Want to see my zucchini?

Your daddy must have been a vegan baker, because you're a croissant.

Your organic cotton t-shirt looks really soft. Can I feel it?

You’re a hot chick...pea eater.