Stock Market Pick Up Lines

"Wolf of Wall Street" was based on me.

Are you buyin' what I'm sellin'?

Are you on the market, cause I'd love to buy that stock.

Baby you gotta nice rear dividend.

Baby, the way you support free markets stimulates growth in my private sector!

Baby, you’re not an option, — you’re totally a future!

Can I turn your resistance level into a support level by making new highs with you.

Did it hurt when you crashed?

Do you feel the high-yield bond between us?

Girl, are you a stock? Because you sure like bouncing a lot!

Girl, if you and I were a stock, we'd be Pork Futures.

Girl, you looks good! Won't you Nasdaq that ass up?

Hey babe, I think your fundamentals look great! I'd love to add you to my portfolio.

Hey baby, I'm like a diversified portfolio: low risk.

Hey baby, want to see my S&P index?

Honey, you've got my dividend up! Are you ready for my distribution?

How bout we do some inside her trading?

How bout you bend over and I'll takeover.

How would you like to join me for some Exchange Traded Fun?

How'd you like to align your employee interests with those of upper management?

I can tell by your interest that you're easy money.

I don't know much about depression, but I'm pretty great.

I got a tiny investment for you.

I have a a huge Stock.

I have something in common with the stock market. We both like to go down.

I love to share, wanna stock broke me?

I prefer the Bare Market, if you catch my drift.

I trade rare metals, and you look like the rarest one of them all.

I want controlling interest of your assets.

I want to restructure you.

I want to wait until your Stockings are Low, and then Invest in your Portfolio.

I'd be your angel investor any day.

I'd like to take you to my offshore account, if you know what I mean.

I'd would love to see how your bottom line compensates for the inflation in my pants.

I'll give you my number, then you have a call option.

I'll put the hedge in your fund.

I'm into bonds.

I'm like quantitative easing: inflation will soon follow.

I'm on the investor relations team and I need your help to uphold shareholder values.

I'm willing to go down for your shares, but I'll take 69 as a final offer.

I've been appreciating your assets from across the room and I'm prepared to make you a tender offer.

If I told you that you had a beautiful balance sheet, would you hold it against me?

If you take a short position, I'll show you my long bond.

If you were at stock...I just couldn't sell.

If you're going down, I'm buying.

Is that a catalyst in your plans, or are you just happy to see me?

Is that a market expansion in your pocket...or are you just glad to see me?

It's 12 basis points long actually. What's a basis point? Oh it's a financial measurement for inches.

It's technically wrong, but seeing you, I can't help but want to do a little insider trading.

Lets just say I like to Package your Derivatives.