Lawyer Pick Up Lines

Are you pro-bono or just happy to see me?

Baby I'm gonna proximately cause you to cum tonight.

Can I get your number? One call, that's all.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Also, was it a work-related injury? We can sue for damages.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? because you could be entitled to compensation.

Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven? Because I know a good personal injury lawyer.

Don't take this the wrong way, counselor, but I think you should drop your suit.

Don't worry dear, I won't judge you. I'm obviously not a Judge, I'm a lawyer.

Girl, I may be a criminal defense attorney, but my clients aren't the only ones I get off.

Girl, I'll let you be the judge; I'll be the case.

Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

Hey baby wanna submit to binding arbitration.

Hey baby, how about we head back to my place, and we make a nudum pactum?

Hey baby, want to have some intercourse from which spurious issue may arise?

Hey boy, I hear you're of good fame and character. Just disclothes, and I'll admit you.

Hey, can you check what's inside this brief?

Hey, if I'm willing to create some legal relations with you, will you let me into your contract?

How about a notice of motion?

How about coming back to my place for a little actus reus?

How’d you like to come back to my place for a little actus reus?

I am a good lawyer and I like to be on top of the things.

I believe that it's in our best interest to comply with section 69 of the act.

I booked us a library discussion room, baby, so we can study the 'Laws of Attraction' without disruption.

I don't know if i have standing, but I'd love to court you.

I don’t know if I have a standing, but I’d love to court you.

I don’t know if I have waiting for you, but I would love that you Court.

I got your jurisdiction right here.

I have a precedent that is long and deep.

I have an oral argument for you.

I hope you don't object to this leading question, boy, but you want me, don't you?

I just want you to know that, despite having no legal obligation to, I will come to your aid if you require it.

I know a great way I could serve justice today... should I stop by your office?

I love you beyond a reasonable doubt.

I might need you to take a closer look at these briefs.

I won't object to your excited utterances.

I'd have to plead insanity if I ever left you.

I'll be the accessory if you'll be the principal.

I'll search your grabbable area..

I'll show you my briefs if you show me yours.

I'm a lawyer... Thrust me.

I'm going to sue the pants off you.

I've been applying strict scrutiny to your booty, and it's compelling.

If being sexy were a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!

If everyone is the general rule, to me you are the only exception.

If I said you were sexy, would you sign this form indemnifying me against sexual harassment litigation?

If I were your lawyer I'd have to take you to the appellate court because you got so much sex appeal.

If love is a crime, then I’m looking at a life sentence.

If loving you is a crime, then I'm looking at a life sentence.

If you're my client, I'll get you off. If you aren't, the offer still stands...

Is that an amicus curiae or are you just happy to see me?