Senior Citizen Pick Up Lines

Are those your tits in your socks or are you just happy to see me?

As long as I have this wheelchair, youll always have a lap to seat on.

As soon as I get my hip replacement, I'm going to hump you.

Babe I just want to take you home and show you my big... medicine cabinet.

Baby, you must be dentures because I need to take you out every night.

Break my hip, not my heart.

By me a drink and I'll take out my teeth for a good time.

Can I carry your oxygen tank for you?

Can I share your oxygen tank? Because you took my breath away.

Check my prostate if I'm wrong, but do I know you from somewhere?

Come here often? I seriously can't remember.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and broke your hip?

Did it hurt when you fell from the sky or have I finally made it to Heaven. If that's the case I didn't feel a thing!

Did you fall from heaven and you can't get up?

Do you believe in love at first sight, 'cause, if so, I'll grab my bifocals.

Do you like flowers because I can see a flower just by looking at you.

Do you live in a 100 meters area?

Do you play bingo? Because I've seen you B4.

Do you really need that scooter? Because youve been running in my mind all day long.

Do you want the lights off or the teeth out?

Do you want to get dinner with me? Must be between 4-4:30.

Don't worry I won't bite... No teeth!

Either my pacemaker just shot craps or I'm in love.

Everyday will be like our first day together cause I won't remember any of this tomorrow.

Getting lucky usually means finding my car in the parking lot, but tonight you can change that.

Have we met before? No, seriously, have we met before?

Hey babe, How 'bout we snort some Maalox together?

Hey babe, wanna come over to my place and compare prescription drug plans?

Hey baby, I'm rich and probably going to die soon.

Hey baby, is that a urinary drainage bag in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?

Hey baby, my boobs are looking right at your penis down there.

Hey baby, these teeth are real.

Hey beautiful, they still let me drive. Wanna go for a ride?

Hey, wanna good time? I bought some great Viagra back from Bali?

Hey, can I borrow your Hearing Aid? My last girlfriend disappeared without returning mine!

Hey, can i get a ride to the pharmacy?

Hey, I just got my new teeth. Want to join me for dinner so I can test them out?

Hey, you still breathing?

Honey, you're playing with my heart. At least the dial that controls my Pacemaker.

How about you try out your new teeth on my meat.

I can't remember what sex is. Care to help me remember?

I got a bottle of wine and a new pack of Depends in my scooter if you're feelin' frisky.

I got a pension and I'm not afraid to use it.

I got a pill I could take back at my place, if you could tell me where my place is.

I have a little blue pill, and it has your name all over it.

I like the look of your diaper. It would look even better on my bedroom floor.

I liverspotted you from across the bar?

I must not have alzheimer's today because I remember how cute you are!

I should have brought my oxygen tank because you take my breath away.

I think you dropped your teeth.