Scientology Pick Up Lines

Can you help me meet my dissemination targets?

Can you help me meet my dissemination targets? I’ll let you be in a condition of power.

Congratulations, you’ve gone Clear… to my heart!

Didn't we hook up in a past life?

Get on your knees, open your mouth, and hail Xenu!

Hey babe, I'd like to you feel my postulate.

Hey gurl, you lookin' a little stressed out. Why don't you let me check yo' thetan levels back at MY place?

Hi dollface, wanna come uplines and let me park my throbbing spaceship in your steaming volcano?

How about you hold my can while I audit your body thetans?

I've been waiting 75 million years to see a meat body like yours.

I've got an E-meter for two back at my pad.

I've got an E-Meter in my pants you can use.

Is that a cluster of body thetans in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Is that a cluster of body thetans or are you just happy to see me?

Is that a Thetan in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I’m bad luck. Why don’t you pull me in?

I’ve got some charge you can blow!

My org needs a touch assist.

There's a powerful Thetan inhabiting my body and the only way to get rid of it is with your mouth.

There's an incident in my pants, and you're invited.

Wanna go up my Bridge to Total Pleasure?

Wanna MEST around?

Weren’t we married in a previous life?

What’s a pretty girl like you doing on a prison planet like this?

Whenever I see you, my tone arm rises!

Where have you been all my Whole Track?

Would you like to come home and audit on my e-meter?

Would you mind auditing me on the Happiness Rubdown?

You're sweating because of those extra Body Thetans. Want to slip into something more comfortable?

Your body is in screaming affluence!