Meteorologist

Be careful I’ve been known to cause a flash flood watch in your lower elevations.

Hey, you spelled “forecast” wrong. There should be a “U and I” in it.

I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

It's supposed to snow on Friday night. What are you doing?

I’m picking up measurable precipitation...in your panties.

The high today is going to be 23 degrees. But don't you worry, I'll keep you warm.

There's a lower level disturbance in my atmosphere, if you know what I mean...

Today’s forecast: Mostly horny and a chance of baby makin’

Tonight will be cloudy skies with a 60% chance of anal.

What'll happen if this ridge of high pressure collides with your warm frontal system?

You give me a high pressure system...in my pants.