Climate

Stop protesting so I can lay my pipe.

That look you just gave the Minister of Environment really brings out the colour of your eyes.

There's a heatwave burning in my heart. And for once, it definitely ain't climate change.

Want to help me do a good deed? Let's get in the sheets and save on heat.

We can cut down our water use if we shower together.

We don't need to frack to make the bed rock.

We need to make babies straight away - if we wait any longer, the world will be too warm for our children to survive.

When I first met you when you were a climate model, I predicted you'd get hotter every year. I was right.

When I see you, the sea levels are not the only thing on the rise...

When you make my meter spin backward, I always know you'll give me full credit for it...

You give me almost as much rise as the sea levels.

You look so hot whenever you're outside.

You look very fair, ambitious and binding tonight. We should make a deal.

You want to take a shower with me to conserve water?

You're so hot I don't even have to alter the data to prove it.

You're so hot, the glaciers are melting.

Your renewable energy turns me on and keeps me going all night, how how’s that for efficiency?

Your so hot to have started all globle warming.