Medical Pick Up Lines


Here you will find funny, silly and hilarious medical pick up lines for teens and adults.



Is that a priapism or are you just happy to see me?
Is that a tumour in your penis or are you just happy to see me.
Is your name Atropine? Cause you're raising my heart rate.
Is your name Neosporin, because i'd like to rub you on my body.
Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you're giving me a serious bone condition.
Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.
My adductor isn't the only thing that's longus.
My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection!
My penis is a syringe full of medicine that I must inject into you.
My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I'm falling for you.


My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you.
My zygomaticus muscle contracts everytime I see you.
Nice antibody. Wanna conjugate?
ou make my heart have Premature Ventricular Contractions!
Please don’t be too sweet. I might get Diabetes!
Sometime you double my respiration rate, sometime you stop it completely.
Stand a little closer, baby, and I'll bring palpitations to your liver.
That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn't coming from an artery.
When you walked in the door your beauty hit me so hard that I have a sub-arachnoid haemorrhage from the impact.


Whenever I‘m with you I get apnea, ‘cause you take my breath away.
Why is it so hard to study the cardiovascular system? Because the heart is fragile and should always be handled with care.
You are my antiseptic, because you cure my wound; I am always wounded and scarred.
You are the GINA for my asthmatic being!
You can fill my caudate nucleus with dopamine anytime.
You cause my dopamine neurons to increase its neuro transmitter release.
You give me premature ventricular contractions.
You have the finest, hottest, most beautiful zygomatic bones on the planet.
You look dehydrated, want to exchange fluids?


You make my dopamine levels all silly.
You must be low density lipoprotein cholesterol because you just stopped my heart.
You must be stage 3 syphilis, cause I can't get you out of my head.
You must be the one for me, since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.
You must have an infinite half life because I can't get you out of my system.
You pump my heart like epinephrine.
You raise my dopamine levels.
You're like a tricuspid valve to me because you give me life.
You're so hot that you myelinated my demyelinated nerves and cured my Multiple Sclerosis.


Your phalanges are sexy.

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