Asgard


Here you will find funny, silly and hilarious asgard for teens and adults.



Are you bifrost? Because i feel sad if u give me the cold shoulder...
Are you from Asgard? Cos you don't like you're from this world, (midgard).
Come with me and I'll make u see Valhalla.
Did you fart? Because I just felt the thunder.Thor
  • Asgard
  • Submitted by: Lucas Jay
Did you know that lightning is 5000 times hotter than the sun?Thor
Don't believe in a Thor-sized hammer? Take a look at this...
Girl, u wanna go to my place and see my Thor's Hammer?Thor
Hey baby this hammer isn't the only massive tool I've got.Thor
Hey girl, you're the most aTHORable girl I've ever met.Thor
I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.Loki


I don't know if you've heard...but I've got a pretty mean swing.Thor
I don’t need my hammer to send lightning shocks through your body.Thor
I give an entirely different meaning to the phrase ‘thunder clap’.Thor
I have a hammer and it's very hard. Wanna see?Thor
  • Asgard
  • Submitted by: Chris Ramone
I have no depth perception, yet I can still see how deep you are.Odin
I know I said "this mortal form has grown weak", but you can go rough on me baby.Thor
I may be Odin All-Father, but for you, I’ll be Odin All-Lover.Odin
I may not be overly fond of what follows, but the orgasm I'll give you will be thunderous.Thor
I shall electrify you with my good looks and charm, fair lady.Thor


I wear my helmet everywhere, and I love getting horny in bed.Loki
I'll bang you so hard with my mighty Mjolnir, you'll be Thor in the morning.Thor
I'm a Thor on the streets and a Loki in the sheets.Thor
I'm an Assgardian, do you require protection?
I'm Loki of Asgard and I'm burdened with glorious penis.Loki
Is that Mjolnir in your pants or are you just happy to see me?Thor
Is your bed the Bifrost? Because I'll transport you to another realm.
Its powerful and godly, but I’m not talking about Mjolnir.Thor
I’d like to pound you with my hammer.Thor
  • Asgard
  • Submitted by: Monica C.


Let's turn off the lights so I can show you some lightning.Thor
Mjolnir is heavy with power.Thor
Mjolnir isn't the only hard thing I own.Thor
My lady, I'd pound you with my hammer any day.Thor
My Mjolnir is quite powerful, would you like me to demonstrate?Thor
Not that this makes a difference, but I AM heir to the throne of Asgaard.Odin
One time with my Mjolnir and you'll never look at lightning the same way.Thor
They say Thor is the only one who can wield his hammer, well you are the only one who can have my heart.
Thunder isn’t the only thing that will make you quake.Thor
  • Asgard
  • Submitted by: small guy


Wanna know what's harder than the Mjölnir?Thor
Wanna see my hammer?Thor
Want to get hammered?Thor
  • Asgard
  • Submitted by: Dyenna Juon
You have a nice Asgard.
You know...you look very similar to the next Queen of Asgard.
You've been naughty. I might have to cast you out...of my bed.Odin
You’ll be seeing rainbows when I’m done with your bifrost.

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